Eight weeks in

Yesterday marked eight weeks, or 57 days, in the hospital. During that time, Emily and I have experienced the agony of thinking Liam is not going to make it but also the comfort of answered prayers. Through all of the ups and downs, God has been faithful to remind us of His promises and teach us to rely on Him.

Psalm 62:1-2 says this:

For God alone my soul waits in silence;

from Him comes my salvation.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

The word “alone” is particularly helpful. Over the past eight weeks, things like medicine, human wisdom, and prognoses have proven to be insufficient comforters. I’ve found myself feeling as though I have nothing else to grab onto aside from the Lord.

To be honest, I’ve found this to be diffucult. It’s as if, at times, there is more immediate comfort in a prognosis or my perceptions than in the Lord. And yet, as other things I can grab onto for comfort have crumbled under the weight of the situation, this Psalm reminds me that I shouldn’t be surprised. Only God is my “rock…salvation, my fortress.” Only he can sufficiently comfort and protect. I shouldn’t be shocked when something or someone else fails to be what only God is. I shouldn’t be caught off guard that pebbles are not fortresses. This is not to say that Liam’s recent improvements, medicinal help, or the wisdom of doctors should not be comforting. They are! And rightly so. Nevertheless, they are insufficient to provide the stability I need when the waves of doubt and sorrow start coming.

Additionally, it’s a great encouragement to know that reliance on God leads to “I shall not be greatly shaken.” I don’t think this means the absence of life experiences that shake us. If this were the case, why would this Psalm exist? Rather, the point seems to be that reliance on something (or in this case, someone) stable leads to stability when things get shaky. No flood can overwhelm the preserving power of God for His people. That’s a reason to trust Him. That’s a reason to boast and not shrink back from claiming, “He alone is my rock, and my salvation, my fortress!”

So, with all this in mind, the Lord is teaching me to trust Him. He is teaching me to pray. Even in the valley, the Shepherd’s good work of refinement and training doesn’t stop. It’s a sign of His love for and faithfulness to His sheep.

Thank you to so many of you for praying. Would you continue to pray with us and for us?

Liam has been handling chemo well this week. The expectation is that his immune system will plummet in the next few days. This will be when we find out if the fungal infection is truly under control or not. Doctors suspect that it is. Nevertheless, please pray that that the fungal infection remains under control and that Liam's body remains healthy as he becomes severely immunosuppressed. Please pray that no other infections set in. Please pray for wisdom for our medical team. Please pray for healing. Please pray that Emily and I would find our greatest hope and stability in Christ and His promises.