He Will Hold Us Fast

“I want to go to God, Mama.” 

“Why?” I asked. My eyes filled with tears at this abrupt declaration.

Liam looked up at me and smiled, “Because he loves me!” 

I wondered what prompted him to say this. 

That same night, Lily had a dream. Jesus came to her, picked her up, and held her. He told her that He loved her. She woke up in the morning full of joy, and couldn’t wait to share her experience with Daddy.

Friends, the Lord is near. I have been praying day and night this week that He would reveal Himself and His love specifically to my oldest two children in their sufferings (Jack is still young enough to be free from the pain of our circumstances). Liam is enduring the misery of his illness. Lily is suffering from an anxiety disorder that has been intensified by the separation of our family. Lately, Ben and I have felt so insufficient in our parenting. But God, in His abundant grace, is answering our prayers. He is drawing our children to Himself.

So, if you’re wondering how we’re holding up, know that in the midst of our weariness and grief, God is holding us fast. He is working His eternal purposes in us and through us. He is our refuge and strength. While we mourn our portion of the brokenness of this world, not once have we regretted putting all of our hope in Him.

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” - Romans 5:1-5

Update on Liam:

Liam is continuing to improve very slowly. He is still vomiting a couple of times a day, but he is no longer in pain. He is still having IRIS fevers, although they seem to be spacing out a bit. In between the fevers, he is happy and able to play. He has begun eating a little bit and walking with a walker. Overall, the doctors are very pleased with his condition. Criteria for going home includes the ability to take oral meds (and keep them down!), so we are slowly trying to add those in this week through his feeding tube. I am also getting trained on administering Liam’s TPN. It is very complicated, so please pray that I learn quickly! If all goes well, we will go home next week!