June 1, 2024

The Past Few Days

For how to pray, skip to the next section.

Normally, when you meet someone for the first time, you exchange names and shake hands. Dr. Chang’s introduction consisted of informing me that my four-year-old son has leukemia. It was not what I was expecting. As I froze in shock, Emily approached us, and Dr. Chang gave her the same introduction. As you can imagine, she responded as any mother would. Once Dr. Chang left the room, Emily and I embraced each other and wept. What was supposed to be a simple trip to urgent care turned into admittance to the cancer ward of Mary Bridge Children’s Hospital in Tacoma.

Mixed in with my bouts of weeping, one of my greatest fears is that we won't make it through this; that Liam won’t make it through this. What will we do if there’s an emergency and doctors are rushing into the room to save our son’s life? How will I respond when his hair falls out? How are we going to manage our marriage? How are we going to help Lily and Jack through this? How will we make Liam’s fifth birthday this upcoming Monday joy-filled? In one sense, chemotherapy is a gift, but really? On his birthday?

And yet, in all of this, both Emily and I are sensing God's odd peace—or what some might call a peace “which passes all understanding” (Phil. 4:7). Much of that is due to your prayers. We trust the Lord is good. He has not deceived us. He hasn’t stabbed us in the back. In the midst of the fears and questioning, what else can we do but plead with Him for faith? Cursing God gets us nothing (as if He is or has done evil). Thinking about tomorrow and the years-long path to recovery only leads to more anguish. As thankful as we are for all the doctors and nurses (they have been amazing), their comfort is only as good as their knowledge, which is limited. In all of this, where else can we go? Only He has the words of life (John 6:68).

The verse that comes to mind is Psalm 61:2:

“…when my heart is faint, Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

Be our rock, Lord. Help Liam. Help us. Amen.

I share all of this because many of you are wondering how we are and what we need. We are weak, tired, restless, worried, fearful, broken, and sorrowful. We are also, by God’s grace, hopeful. Please keep praying for Liam and for us. Please do not hesitate to text us your prayers, encouragements, and verses. It's helpful (even if we don’t respond).

We plan to use this blog to keep you all updated on how Liam is doing and how you can pray. For those in the Puyallup, WA area, please contact Jason and Bekah Murdock if you’d like to help in practical ways. They are acting as the point persons. You can text me (Ben) if you need their contact information.

Liam's Status

Liam is suffering specifically from T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia (T-cell ALL). But Liam originally came to the ER due to some other health problems which we need to ideally resolve before chemotherapy begins on Monday, June 3.

He has three separate problems going on:

1. Leukemia

2. Infected gland on his neck

3. E. coli bacteria in the blood

4. 
   

The leukemia has shot his immune system. He literally doesn’t have one right now. His body is so full of cancer cells, it isn’t able to make new healthy cells. So his cells aren’t doing the right things, and the normal bacteria that was already in his body can permeate and get into the wrong places.

Unfortunately, the problems conflict with each other and how the doctors treat each one.

The good news is they will have the exact antibiotic for the bacterial infection nailed down tomorrow (Sunday, June 2).

The doctor said that the bacteria in the blood does worry him because it makes chemo more dangerous. At the same time, this is something they've dealt with before.

In all of this, our boy seems to be deteriorating. He is weak. He has trouble breathing at times. He can barely eat and walk. We have never seen him like this. 

How to Pray

• Pray the antibiotic works to clear these infections.

• Pray Liam can start chemo ASAP.

• Pray for healing in general.

• Pray for wisdom for the doctors.

• Pray for physical strength for Liam (he is so weak)

• Pray for us that God would grant us faith to trust Him.

• Pray for our other kids (Lily & Jack).

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I am sure there is more. That's enough for now. Thank you all for your love and support.